intriguers:

how many calories do I burn when I run away from my problems?

(via slomps)

"Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’"
- Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via hate)

(Source: katamarang, via seanp0donnell)

frickbook:

is there like financial aid for concert tickets

(Source: leekx, via seanp0donnell)

48,896 notes reblog ♦ 2 days ago

promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

(via seanp0donnell)

kanyewestevil:

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS

(Source: kanyewesticle, via slomps)

92,824 notes reblog ♦ 2 days ago
2,193 notes reblog ♦ 2 days ago

splantamello:

beeswarm17:

karkat-san:

karkat-san:

Why was Oedipus against profanity?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.

I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.

wait

(Source: gymleaderkarkat, via slomps)

44,112 notes reblog ♦ 2 days ago
151,687 notes reblog ♦ 2 days ago
40,869 notes reblog ♦ 3 days ago
338,820 notes reblog ♦ 3 days ago